I haven't cried as much as I have today since the start of this whole fucking disaster.
I'm a day and a half away from my due date, so my options of solace are limited.
What I hate the most is IT IS NOT ME keeping me from trying to keep a semblance of normalcy and happiness. I was just eating dinner quietly when YOU started in with me.
I should not have to answer for the fuck ups of anyone else.
I'm in this mess because I admitted to my own mistake. So I might be many things, but among those is honest, and remorseful, and I HAVE MORE THAN PAID MY PRICE.
So honestly, if it's that much of a problem to help me, DON'T. I have friends that will drive me to the hospital. I have brothers and a sister that will take Chester while I'm there. A sister that I was staying with until I was told to come to you. And I will get the hell out of the house as soon as I go back to work, which could be as soon as February.
If I'm not worth the sacrifice, I'm glad I at least know it now.
You are INSANE if you think I am happy about this, and comfortable enough to stay here long term.
If it's not clear the amount of things I've already given up for my son, I don't know what to say to you. I am even willing to go back to the career that made me sick in the first place because I know I will be able to make more money for him doing that.
Because he is not a burden. I'm in love with him. I have since I first saw his tiny speck of a body on the ultrasound screen. And it doesn't matter if he is a day old or 28 years old. I will always sacrifice for him.
I'm sorry I don't incite the same emotion in you.